I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately, basically decimating the Dewey Decimal System of my local library, and have some great finds to share with you soon. In the meantime, a little reflection – I think my kids save up every little fucked up thought that runs through their brains to share in the check out line at Wal-Mart.
As an aside, I don’t want to hear any commentary from you about Wal-Mart. I’ll be paying Sallie Mae off in July and I don’t want to hear any lip about my grocery shopping habits in the mean time.
Yesterday, against my better judgment, I took both kids grocery shopping. They were generally well-behaved, except for the frequent fisticuffs and protests that the other was the worst sibling ever. Still, the bright side of shopping at Wal-Mart is that you can threaten your children’s lives and it doesn’t even cross the other parents’ radar. Those parents are not the same as the co-op and CSA parents. They know that the struggle is real.
Finally reaching the checkout line, the kids had a little time to stand still, immersed in sea of other parents and children. and ponder life’s finer mysteries. Little Isis began the unsolicited commentary..
Mom, I’ve really been thinking a lot about this. Santa is basically a pervert. What normal guy watches children when they sleep? I mean, “I see you when you’re sleeping..”. That’s just creepy.
Fair enough, son. While I found his statements insightful, those around us were less amused.
I attempted to change the topic of conversation, asking Tiny Diva if she would like to go canoeing on Friday.
Oh yes! But, we’re going to need to get some sunscreen and towels and swords and guns.
Swords and guns??
Because there might some cannibals there and I don’t want them to eat you and Little Isis and Dr. S. They won’t eat me because I am too cute. But, if they did eat me, I’d be really tender because I’m little (insert creepy wide-eyed stare).