For fucking fucks sake, dudes!!! Before you let a student “finish” and get their PhD and peace out the door, you gotta make sure they’ve actually finished their experiments and have written their fucking papers. Write the fucking papers!!!!!
Here’s what happens to the probability any student is going to finish any papers as a function of time with some numbers I made up based on my own experience, or other such bullshittery, and where the dotted line represents the time the PhD is awarded…
The point is, people don’t write shit after they leave the lab!!! And, yeah…students, blah, blah, blah, training time, funding, can’t draw it out etc. Whatever. Fuck all of that. You know who this really fucks? The poor soft money, junior, non-tenured fucks in the middle of the paper that never gets written because the grad students have left the lab.