Things You Shoud Be Reading

Friend of the blog Gerty-Z (who you might remember from the fruitcake incident) has written a fascinating post about her path toward realizing and accepting her sexuality.

I refer to this post as “fascinating” although certainly other words could be used to describe it – thoughful, beautiful, inspirational, etc.  But fascinating because I am truly fascinated in the anatomy of this process.  Gerty writes:

I think that us LGBTQ* folks are good at telling our coming out stories. These are awesome, empowering stories. And I love to hear them. But it is harder (at least for me) to talk about how destructive it was for me during that period when I tried so hard to fit in.

 I completely get the strength and support that members of the gay community get from each other in these stories, and Gerty certainly talks about that.  But, the part that I find uncomfortably interesting is the need for these stories that straight folks seem to have.  Specifically this part:

IME, when you are openly queer, someone will inevitably ask “when you knew”. I’ve struggled with this question.

This leaves me pondering today.  I wonder how many straight folks have ever asked “when they knew”?  Sometimes I wonder if straight folk are interested in this question because they are afraid they might have some hidden gayness in them that will suddenly appear and make them long to wear leather and march in a parade…

But, I digress.  Go read Gerty’s post because, really, it’s one of the best things on the internet today.


4 responses to “Things You Shoud Be Reading

  1. I agree. Anyone who asks “when did you know” is totally gay. Gotcha.

  2. To continue with your question about how many heterosexual people have been asked, “When did you know you were straight,” I would refer you to any heterosexual privilege checklist. This one is what I’ve seen most often in academia, but any you find through google should give you a good idea.

    I identify as a queer female scientist. My formation of identity and coming out story is very different from Gerty’s, but I am still plagued by the question and issue of coming out again and again. I’m a graduate student and I run our university/region’s queer science group. If I talk about service work and leave that out, it seriously diminishes the quality and quantity of work I perform, but I’m always just a little worried when I mention it. I wrote about my coming out story, since I think it is important to share these things, as part of the Pride edition of the Diversity in Science blog carnival summer (

  3. dude. thank you. I don’t know why folks have the curiosity and need to verbalize the question “when did you know you were gay?”. But I like your approach of asking “when did you know you were straight”?

  4. Potnia Theron

    Thank you Moose. Its a great list.

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