My baby brother is the bravest man I know. A lovely person with a good and loving heart.
My brother is an openly gay man, engaged to another man with a sweet soul, and over the last couple of days I have watched those close to us – our family and friends- openly share their support of a company that openly endorses hate. A company that donates to organizations that strive to make homosexuality illegal and equates it with pedophilia. I can’t empathize with what he must experience to be judged so openly, as I have never been as open about my own sexuality, but my heart breaks for him as he navigates a world full of people who so clearly hate him. Not his “lifestyle.” Not his “choice.” Him. To see our family and friends utter emptily in one breath that they love him and with the next to post pictures of themselves in line with their fried chicken sandwiches because everyone is “entitled to their opinions.” He’s the bravest man I know to have dealt with them with such grace. I know that it hurts him.
I see the love that my brother and his bethrothed share and I can’t see how that kind of love can be wrong, or sinful, or evil. I want to build a bubble around their love and guard it from those that would seek to spoil it with their hate. I want to live in a world where no one wonders or is afraid of how their love will be judged. Where people aren’t kept from their spouses because their love doesn’t conform to the uncharitable interpretations of the laws of an ancient and misunderstood God.
I want my brother and his fiance and others like him to know that I think they are beautiful. I think their love is beautiful and as inspiring as any love I’ve known and that I am committed to protecting it. Not to being “tolerant” of the hateful ramblings of some fuckwitted chicken shilling CEO, but to protecting the type of love that I believe that we should all have the right to experience. That we would all be blessed to have the opportunity to experience. I want them to know that I find the actions and beliefs of religious conservatives like Dan Cathy to be deplorable and that, for as long as I can, I’ll stand up for them. Being “tolerant” should never be equated with accepting hate. There is not a single argument that has been made in opposition of homosexuality that hasn’t been made to oppress another group at some point in history. Including all of this first amendment wackaloonery.
As my dear sister Gerty-Z points out, when we don’t speak up, we run the risk that people will think that they are alone. That’s why it is so important to me that my LGBT breathern know that they are loved and that they are not alone and that I will continue, in voice and in action, to support their equality.
You are awesome beyond words
I have always maintained that if a sibling or dear friend would come out as gay, I would love them that much more because the world is such a hateful place.
We are all God’s children.
and I, for one, will stand up there beside you and your brother and defend you and your rights as humans to love whomever you want. Nothing makes me stabbier than bigoted, homophobic, hate-mongers. <3
I love your support of your brother and concern for him. But, you see, if you’re straight, you are as open about your sexuality as your brother is. People know you have a partner. Those you don’t know very well may even know who your partner is. Those who do know you well probably know your partner well and allow their families around him. You probably had a large, public gathering when you made your partnership official with the state. You have children–the result of your sexuality–and you probably have pictures of them and your partner in your office. You probably talk with your coworkers about your partner taking you on dates or making dinner or drawing a bath for you or giving you a backrub or even buying you a romantic gift. You probably hold hands, hug, or kiss in public and even around children.
This is why it is so important for there to be vocal allies. Because the most basic of human needs–love, touch, companionship–for those who love persons of the same sex, are equated with fucking in public. It is utterly dehumanizing. And the way that has invaded our language needs to change.
I am currently married to a man and have children with said man, but this is quite an assumption for you to have made.
Beautiful post. My uncle is gay and has a wonderful partner of 7 years. One of my best college friends is also gay, and she and her partner are finally expecting a child after almost 4 years of trying to conceive. They are getting married in November. Love is a beautiful thing no matter who the partners are, and it’s so sad that people have to try and ruin that.
The “if” I included or considering the general use of the second person defuses the contention of assumption. Though you do discuss your family a little on your page, which I’ve been reading for some time.
But I should have been more clear that my comment was not accusatory. I was simply pointing out the different ways we have been taught to consider sexuality and relationships. For straight people, marriage, children, companionship are considered just life. For LGBT, they are declared political statements. They are sexual in nature. This is, really, no more or less true for them than for anyone else. This is what I’ve been trying to express when I’ve talked about the subject recently. It was the most meaningful thing I heard when I first woke up from the lies I heard in my youth.
*sniff*
Beautiful.
Word, Isis, word.
And to you, whatpalebluedot, when you use the term LGBT, those letter have meaning. A woman married to a man can still be LGBT. Heterosexuality may be a default assumption, but it is not always the correct one.
I know this, being a not straight woman married to a man. Hence I said “IF,” as I repeated above.
Sounds like you have an awesome brother, and your brother has an awesome sister.
Beautiful post, Pal. Thank you
Oh, FFS. Someday I will figure out how this damn iPad works. I mean:
Beautiful post, Dr. Isis.. Thank you for being a badass. (my wife says hey, btw)
Ditto to everything written above.
Tell your wife I say {{{squish}}}
I think that is your most awesome post ever. Hugs to your bro and his partner.
Several quotes bolster what you’ve said regarding standing for your brother’s civil and human rights:
“First they came for the communists…” Martin Neimoller
“No man is an island, entire of himself…” John Donne
“Love your neighbor as yourself…”- a certain Jewish mystic whose followers tend to forget his words and philosophy
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” Paul, 1st Letter to the Corinthians, 13:13 NIV Given how hateful and phobic Paul could be, this is amazing.
“It’s important that people should know what you stand for. It’s equally important that they should know what you won’t stand for.” -Mary H. Waldrip
I, like you, stand for love, and will not stand for hate. Is this world so full of love that we must ration it?
I didn’t think so.
I left the Catholic Church at 15, and am no longer Christian, but there are many part of Tanakh and the Gospels that one can’t forget, as they are so much a part of western civilization.
Tell your brother and his beloved that many, if not all, of your readers stand with him against those who would dehumanize him, and see his love as vile, and welcome him into our homes and at our tables.
*sniffs too*
Beautiful and excellently put.
I teared up. Thank you =]
I think your brother must be comforted to know that whenever faced with the bigotry and hatred of others, he (and his affianced) have you in their corner. And your children will be raised to know how to treat people right.
Asi sea, siempre. Hugs to you and your whole family.
Thank you for this this is beautiful! My dad in many of his friends applied this wholeheartedly!
well that is a heartfelt plea for humanity in this world! Most of my sisters are gay and in 10+ year relationships and married where possible. They are all fine people.
They never had any children though.. so I miss being an uncle to their kids. My one non-gay sister with them lives far away.
but many people in America are mean and nasty and bigoted. and they eat chicken. so together we have a marketing campaign based on Leviticus. oh well..
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lovely. though the circumstances are far from positive, it is pleasing to see the strong support of the lgbt community being so outspoken in the interwebs.
while i hesitate to clutter comments with pleas for attn, a prof at msu had organized a seminar this fall (msu is paying travel costs for the scientists) and is he now trying to scrape together enough money to have the guest interviews turned into a documentary for pbs on the science behind sexual orientation. approaching this content from a science perspective and in a way the public can understand has not been done before and should do a world of good towards combating misconceptions and ignorance on the matter. also, given everyone involved, the production will be some quality stuff. it’d be great if you could share via twitter/fb/any means you see fit. more info here: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/marcbreedlove/whom-you-love-the-biology-of-sexual-orientation
Fuck yeah!
I’m watching the same thing transpire on Facebook and wondering how my LGBT friends and relatives are taking it.
Some of our mutual friends are more obnoxiously vocal about their support for Chick-Fil A, even going so far as to post articles about homosexuality as a “sin” (yeah, but there are 7 *deadly* sins, so, why not discriminate against others who may be violating those?) and I’m considering just removing them from my Friends list and life altogether. I don’t hate them, but I don’t think I want to know them anymore. Really, they’re picking and choosing which “sins” make a person a second-class citizen….
Brilliant!!
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I would like to have this made into a poster. I have hope that it’s true. Until then, I will continue to be sorry and enraged that people such as your brother live in a country where they are treated as second-class citizens.
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